Men of the world, can I talk to you for a minute?
What the fuck is your (our) problem?
You piss on the toilet seat. You smell bad, grow hair all over, commit literally 10 times as many violent crimes as women, and yet somehow you still run the whole frakking world.
What the hell, man (men)? And I'm not going to beat around the bush and say "you used to be cool". No, you were never cool. Not a lot's changed.
But it seemed like maybe we were getting somewhere. Curbing the worst of our excesses. Really trying to genuinely make way for the better halves of the world, though only after they had to kick us in the nuts with people like Nellie McClung.
So why is it that I'm hearing men clamouring all over my country, dear, sweet, forward-thinking Canada, MEN...you ASSHOLES...bringing up abortion?
Awwww shit. Here we go.
Photo by David Shankbone licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic
Photo by David Shankbone licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic
Now hold on hold on hold ON. Don't bust out your slideshows and statistics. I'm not here to debate abortion. First off, it's pretty clear already which side I'm on, and there will be no dissuading me from that position, much in the same way there will be no dissuading people from the other side. When it comes to touchy subjects like this, the people who have made up their minds, generally speaking, have made them up for good.
What I'm here to bitch and whine about is the fact that right now, in Canada, the motion to reopen the abortion debate is A) being tabled by an old white guy B) will be debated by a house of commons that is largely composed of old white guys who are C) led by an old white guy.
Men...we have no place in this debate. Don't winge on about how "it takes two to tango" or give me crap about "father's rights". We are glorified sperm donors. If ever there emerges technology to preserve or, dare I say, create the genetic material required to inseminate a woman's ovum, then we are done. We are immediately useless. And you know what? I can see that happening. I can easily imagine a world where men are completely irrelevant.
See, the thing I think you're uncomprehending on, dear men, is that we will never be pregnant.
We will never understand what women go through, generating a life inside themselves. We will never understand the biological impulse, the caring, the nurturing. We pump out a few million white-tailed horrors and we're off and running again.
So where do we get off acting like women's reproductive organs are little bits of territory that we need to reclaim in the name of PENIS?
Don't deny it. I know, you know, we all know, on a plain subliminal level the only reason men enter this debate at all, consciously or unconsciously, is to protect the future of their horrific, equally ignorant offspring. The overwhelming urge to breed incessantly is at times so powerful that we'll gladly turn the clock back to the stone age if it means the chance to hump out a quick one.
This is ancient, outdated, backwards, repellant thinking, and it needs to stop. I am downright appalled that men think we somehow still have a right of ownership over women. Let's not pretend this isn't still a problem. A recent survey conducted in Alberta showed that nearly 10% of men think violence against women is acceptable. This is in CANADA, supposed bastion of civil rights in a global sea of ignorance.
So men...it's high time we shut the hell up. There may well need to be a debate about abortion. There may well be the need to change how it works in Canada (though frankly I see no reason for it). However, this is, and should always be, a women's debate. Men live with sex, and pregnancy, for a matter of moments.
Women live with our actions for their entire lives.
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