Showing posts with label Rundowns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rundowns. Show all posts
Irrational Games is dead. Long live Irrational Games!
Yes, in the world of gaming, we are bidding farewell to the people who brought us Big Daddies, Little Sisters, and all the other quasi-steampunk nightmare relatives we never knew we were missing. Weep not for Rapture, however, for as the article points out, though artists come and go, franchises are forever.
Yes, in the world of gaming, we are bidding farewell to the people who brought us Big Daddies, Little Sisters, and all the other quasi-steampunk nightmare relatives we never knew we were missing. Weep not for Rapture, however, for as the article points out, though artists come and go, franchises are forever.
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| By InSapphoWeTrust from Los Angeles, California, USA (WonderCon 2012Uploaded by russavia) [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons |
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...and ever, and ever, and ever, and...
In grimmer news, the plague of rats in Britain has escalated to a plague of rabbits in Japan. Though considerably more adorable and fluffy in nature, a plague is a plague is a plague, and one can't help but wonder if the natural progression of this apocalypse cycle will lead to larger and even more snuggly forms of doom.
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| loop_oh via Compfight cc |
They sleep all day to save their strength for the ultimate onslaught.
Following on the heels of a petition to stop the SFWA from allowing such dangerous characters as "womenfolk" the platform for unseemly activities like writing, the proud defenders of first amendment rights have taken their campaign to the next level: forum posts. Yes, no less than the associate director of contracts at one of the oldest independent publishers in the world bemoaned renowned Hugo winner Mary Robinette Kowel having the nerve to jump on the "bandwagon" of feminism, as though equality is a lackadaisical farce that old white men simply have to ride out before a return to the good ol' days of private smoking rooms and wife-beating.
When inevitably called out on his bullshit, Sean Fodera and his fellow icebergs proclaimed themselves victims of a misunderstanding, posting on the forum that their quotes were being taken out of context. Truly, a great injustice has been committed.
Here, in its entirety, is Fodera's greatest post:
“It just occurred to me that [Mary Robinette Kowel] seems to be deeply involved in this whole anti-sexism matter. I remember seeing her posing with Hines and Scalzi on one of their very scary cover parodies, and I know she chimed in with a snipe at the petition signers on the Radish thread. I find it very funny and ironic that she would jump on this bandwagon. For a long time, her website featured an array of photos of her in a diaphanous white outfit, posing on a beach. No metal bikinis or such, but they were not innocuous writer headshots either. One of them, with her recumbent on the sand with legs exposed, made her somewhat attractive. I also recall she’s fond of wearing tight-fitting gowns and plunging necklines when she attends cons and award ceremonies. I’ll have to add “phony” to “incompetent” and “arrogant” in the mental tags I’ve assigned her.”
ALSO, WHY IS A WOMAN TALKING?
Ok, I added that last part. Still though, I'm curious to know in what precise context this post, which accuses a woman of being a phony feminist for having had the nerve to wear plunging necklines, is somehow heroic. Tell me, Fodera, how exactly DO you come out on top in this situation?
“It just occurred to me that [Mary Robinette Kowel] seems to be deeply involved in this whole anti-sexism matter. I remember seeing her posing with Hines and Scalzi on one of their very scary cover parodies, and I know she chimed in with a snipe at the petition signers on the Radish thread. I find it very funny and ironic that she would jump on this bandwagon. For a long time, her website featured an array of photos of her in a diaphanous white outfit, posing on a beach. No metal bikinis or such, but they were not innocuous writer headshots either. One of them, with her recumbent on the sand with legs exposed, made her somewhat attractive. I also recall she’s fond of wearing tight-fitting gowns and plunging necklines when she attends cons and award ceremonies. I’ll have to add “phony” to “incompetent” and “arrogant” in the mental tags I’ve assigned her.”
ALSO, WHY IS A WOMAN TALKING?
Ok, I added that last part. Still though, I'm curious to know in what precise context this post, which accuses a woman of being a phony feminist for having had the nerve to wear plunging necklines, is somehow heroic. Tell me, Fodera, how exactly DO you come out on top in this situation?
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| koadmunkee via Compfight cc |
Ah. I see. Keep the dream alive.
OK, let's get a couple of things out of the way before we launch right into it, shall we?
1) No, there was no post on Monday. My digital camera, being older than iPhones, kicked the bucket (and yes, this is also an incidental explanation for why the pictures are sometimes awful in resolution). As such, I'm not able to photograph my minis, and this kind of defeats the whole purpose of Model Mondays, at least for the time being.
2) Yes, this post is going up ridiculously late on Wednesday. Aside from my camera dying, this has also been a...how can I put this? A trying week. I apologize to my 10 regular readers. Hopefully it won't happen again (it will definitely happen again).
There. That's out of the way. I feel better now.
So let's get on with this week's Rundown, shall we?
At the top of the list of stories, it should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that Rob Ford finally shrugged off the last tiny shreds of his human skin, revealing that - yes, indeed - he is, in fact, the shambling, homophobic, repugnant shoggoth we all thought he was.
1) No, there was no post on Monday. My digital camera, being older than iPhones, kicked the bucket (and yes, this is also an incidental explanation for why the pictures are sometimes awful in resolution). As such, I'm not able to photograph my minis, and this kind of defeats the whole purpose of Model Mondays, at least for the time being.
2) Yes, this post is going up ridiculously late on Wednesday. Aside from my camera dying, this has also been a...how can I put this? A trying week. I apologize to my 10 regular readers. Hopefully it won't happen again (it will definitely happen again).
There. That's out of the way. I feel better now.
So let's get on with this week's Rundown, shall we?
At the top of the list of stories, it should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that Rob Ford finally shrugged off the last tiny shreds of his human skin, revealing that - yes, indeed - he is, in fact, the shambling, homophobic, repugnant shoggoth we all thought he was.
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| Via Wikimedia Commons |
All shoggoths are homophobes, though not all homophobes are shoggoths.
Yes, in a move meant to galvanize the worst parts of what can only charitably be called humanity, his worship decided now was the time to beat the war drum against that most feared demographic of civilization: Teh Gayz (that's LGBT peoples, if you're not a tool). Responding to the appearance of a Pride Flag on City Hall's courtesy pole, Rob Ford - in defiance of logic, common sense, and basic decency - put on a cheap imitation of Ronald Reagan and demanded that we tear down this flag. His reasoning fabricated bullshit for this action was that the only flag flying at city hall should be the Canadian Maple Leaf. As numerous sources were quick to point out, aside from him lacking the authority to make such a request, there are in fact no less than 3 Canadian flags on poles at city hall at all times. Not satisfied with this explanation, Ford proceeded to tape a Canadian flag to the window of his office in a show of protest. Because he had to find a fresh, new way to defile our country's status and Justin Bieber had already cornered the market on meeting the Prime Minister in overalls.
Sadly, a gradual slide into knuckle-dragging regression seems to be the name of the game this week, as even the enlightened field of science fiction writers fell prey to the whimsy of the blitheringly backward and stupid. I speak of a petition that circulated amongst the vaunted members of the Science Fiction Writers of America, the content of which centred on holding back the awesome threat of a *shock, horror* RESPECT FOR WOMEN.
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| emilybean via Compfight cc |
If you support feminism, you're dooming pudding. Think about that.
Now, it doesn't take a lot of critical analysis to quickly shred Mr. David Truesdale's arguments to the ill-conceived mess of poorly disguised misogyny that they are, but the real icing on this shit cake? HE'S NOT EVEN A MEMBER OF THE SFWA. Let's reiterate: Mr. Truesdale put a petition to a private organization, imploring them to not change their private rules on their private publication. An organization he has no part in. And we're supposed to feel that he's having his first amendment rights violated.
Let me apologize now to everyone for the pain you now feel. I never thought it would come to this either.
Yes I did. I did the moment I saw the Candy Crush Saga story from the week before. I knew. I KNEW it would come to this.
Yes I did. I did the moment I saw the Candy Crush Saga story from the week before. I knew. I KNEW it would come to this.
By this, I mean, well...this.
Look, I get it. Big businesses will always murder small ones. That's something I've just come to accept as my wretched existence as a filthy, filthy capitalist.
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| nomm de photo via Compfight cc |
This Valentine's Day, remember your one true love.
But seriously though, this is becoming so laughably, cartoonishly evil, that I'm beginning to suspect that King, the makers of the aforementioned Dessert Smash Epic, are either a real-life Pinky and the Brain tribute gone wrong, or they're some kind of mischievous breed of gnome, trying to teach humanity the value of friendship. By giving us someone we can all agree to hate.
Still, before we go thinking that it's all bad news, I think everyone should know that at least one awesome thing happened this week: someone made a mod in Civilization 5 that lets you play as the country in Papers, Please.
What? You gotta take what they give you.
Welcome back to the Rundown!
I'm turning back the clocks past the usual cutoff of last week, because holy blap there is just so much to process. Crazy canucks tearing up the streets both in and out of their own country, a game company is trying to copywright a commonly used word, and - oh yeah, going back a little ways - A CANNIBAL. RAT. GHOST. SHIP.
But before we get to the rodent armada, we have to ask a serious question: what the Hell is going on in Canada?
Have we all been out in the cold for too long, shuffling along our ice-encrusted sidewalks like disconsolate penguins? Had a few too many Tim Horton's coffees mixed with spiced rum? Suffered too many hockey pucks to the head? Endured one too many stereotype jokes?
What can possibly explain THIS:
Plus THIS:
On the bright side, people won't be able to call Twilight a "saga" anymore.
I'm turning back the clocks past the usual cutoff of last week, because holy blap there is just so much to process. Crazy canucks tearing up the streets both in and out of their own country, a game company is trying to copywright a commonly used word, and - oh yeah, going back a little ways - A CANNIBAL. RAT. GHOST. SHIP.
But before we get to the rodent armada, we have to ask a serious question: what the Hell is going on in Canada?
Have we all been out in the cold for too long, shuffling along our ice-encrusted sidewalks like disconsolate penguins? Had a few too many Tim Horton's coffees mixed with spiced rum? Suffered too many hockey pucks to the head? Endured one too many stereotype jokes?
What can possibly explain THIS:
Plus THIS:
(equals this?)
Where do you begin? When the largest export of your country is a patchwork of sporadic, unintentional comedy, is it time for you to do a little soul-searching about your national pride? Or is it just time to seriously be considering real estate on an ice flow?
Whatever the reason, we can at least rest assured knowing that no matter how ridiculous these two individuals get, they will never, ever, EVER directly intersect, despite the very best efforts of comedians, pundits and papers to link the two together. I mean, one is a politician and the other is a child pop singer. Those two couldn't possibly end up interacting in a horrible confluence or-
FUCK.
Welp. As with all things in life, it always comes back to the lawyers. I give up.
Speaking of lawyers, do you like words? Do you like using them, perhaps to say things or - dare I say - NAME things? Like, if you were to have a great weekend, might you refer to it as an EPIC? And if you were to, I dunno, write about it, might people like to call that a SAGA?
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| Via Wikimedia Commons |
Yes, in what will surely be only the latest in a blitheringly stupid copywright claim, the makers of Candy Crush Saga, a highly addictive mobile game, are trying to trademark use of the word "saga." King, the company in question, is concerned that other games utilizing the term would damage Candy Crush's brand. Because nothing says "saga" like another inane recreation of connect three on your iphone. Truly, an epic voyage.
But hey, at least they're not trying to trademark the word "candy" or anything. That'd be CRAZY.
Sigh. With all of the insanity in the news these days, a reasonable person has to ask: what kind of zany rat race are we all living in?
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| estarezarpadoo via Compfight cc |
No sea rats commenting here, nope!
Yes, in what was undoubtedly the first sign of the coming apocalypse, reports have surfaced of a shipload of vicious vermin heading for the coast of the UK. Crewed only by good intentions and the most persistent and dominant of pests, the murder vessel is sure to terrify and delight as it rapidly overtakes Sharknado at the box office.
But perhaps we are overreacting. Surely the rats couldn't still persist after more than a year at sea? Even if they DID eat each other, why, then eventually their numbers would dwindle, and dwindle, as rat fed on rat, until...
Until...
Only the biggest, meanest, deadliest mother-sucking rat of them all remained, and he would ride atop a throne of bones mounted on the prow of his dreadnought, fire blazing from his eyes, and he would pry open his vicious little jaws and squeak out an apocalyptic dirge that heralds the doom of mankind.
THIS MONSTROUS RAT WILL DESTROY US ALL!!!!
GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-
Only the biggest, meanest, deadliest mother-sucking rat of them all remained, and he would ride atop a throne of bones mounted on the prow of his dreadnought, fire blazing from his eyes, and he would pry open his vicious little jaws and squeak out an apocalyptic dirge that heralds the doom of mankind.
THIS MONSTROUS RAT WILL DESTROY US ALL!!!!
GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-
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| Katsushika Hokusai (θι£Ύεζ) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons |
Only a lone swordsman with a mysterious past and nothing to lose can save us now!
Welcome back to the Rundown!
The top story this week: the Canadian loonie plummeted to drop well below parity with our American counterparts to the south. I realize many of you are thinking this should not be the top story. Let me assure you this is a real crisis. For you see...this was the year I was supposed to go on vacation. And now my purchase of foreign currency will cost me all the more.
I also realize that for some of you, the phrase "Canadian loonie" may be difficult to understand.
The top story this week: the Canadian loonie plummeted to drop well below parity with our American counterparts to the south. I realize many of you are thinking this should not be the top story. Let me assure you this is a real crisis. For you see...this was the year I was supposed to go on vacation. And now my purchase of foreign currency will cost me all the more.
I also realize that for some of you, the phrase "Canadian loonie" may be difficult to understand.
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| Chris Breikss via Compfight cc |
There's just so many possible meanings.
In the wonderful world of geekdom, celebrations were held throughout the land with the release of the Game of Thones Season 4 trailer. Aside from the widespread excitement over the return of one of TV's most popular series, people are simply looking forward to entering a fantasy land where summers can last for years on end. Said one fan, "sure, there's frequent child murder, blood sacrifices, and undead horrors, but 3,600+ days of sunlight? You can't beat that!"
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| Jemimus via Compfight cc |
Already looking into real estate prices.
If nerds are elated by the return of their favourite incestuous House of Lancaster fantasy proxies, they're almost certainly just as perplexed by Fox's upcoming "Gotham" series, which is said to be based around 12-year old Bruce Wayne's coming of age story. The future Batman will interact not only with a pre-commissioner Gordon, but also his future arch-nemeses prior to their various disfigurements / clown makeup / social issues / gangsta life.
Writing for io9, Rob Bricken says "I'm having a hard time articulating why I have such a problem with a show that imagines all of the Batman characters together as teens, when I really didn't have a problem with Smallville. But I do."
Writing for io9, Rob Bricken says "I'm having a hard time articulating why I have such a problem with a show that imagines all of the Batman characters together as teens, when I really didn't have a problem with Smallville. But I do."
Let me see if I can help you out there, Mr. Bricken. *ahem* The reason that you have a problem with a show that imagines all of the Batman characters together as teens is because...
IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. Who in the freshest Hell looked at the Batman universe and said "You know what this is badly missing? Teen angst, and lots of it." Nobody took a serious, hard, period to reflect on the possibility that the Joker was just a class clown who excelled at chemistry until one horrible fateful day, and maybe he and Bruce Wayne even went to school together because wouldn't that just be charmingly ironic lol.
IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. Who in the freshest Hell looked at the Batman universe and said "You know what this is badly missing? Teen angst, and lots of it." Nobody took a serious, hard, period to reflect on the possibility that the Joker was just a class clown who excelled at chemistry until one horrible fateful day, and maybe he and Bruce Wayne even went to school together because wouldn't that just be charmingly ironic lol.
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| Vinnl via Compfight cc |
Really, the school should have known better than
to get its supplies from AXIS chemicals.
Never
has there been a more obvious answer to give save for this morning,
when Shelley Carroll provided the simple, straightforward response as to
why Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne continues to refuse meetings with Mayor Rob Ford.
Finally, just to be a hypocrite about ridiculousity, I continue to forgive the descent into stark-raving insanity and incoherence that is quickly becoming the mainstay of Sleepy Hollow. Perhaps because any story that begins with the completely unironic beheading of the actor who played the goddamn Kurgan can't be all that bad.
Finally, just to be a hypocrite about ridiculousity, I continue to forgive the descent into stark-raving insanity and incoherence that is quickly becoming the mainstay of Sleepy Hollow. Perhaps because any story that begins with the completely unironic beheading of the actor who played the goddamn Kurgan can't be all that bad.
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| ikrichter via Compfight cc |
Ha! So cheeky.
Hello readers and welcome to the Rundown!
The top story this week: processors across North America are humming at peak efficiency in the cold, deathlike embrace of the polar vortex. Skynet will be happy to know that it has found a far more elegant solution to the ever-present human problem that does not even remotely involve nude Austrian bodybuilders.
Of course, the whole situation might be moot as radio personality Rush Limbaugh has been quick to point out the it's all just a vast conspiracy dreamt up by the left. Well, this blogger for one is RELIEVED.
What? You don't think that this source is reliable? Well, if you can't trust a thrice divorced college dropout with a history of drug addiction, then who the hell CAN you trust in this world?!
The top story this week: processors across North America are humming at peak efficiency in the cold, deathlike embrace of the polar vortex. Skynet will be happy to know that it has found a far more elegant solution to the ever-present human problem that does not even remotely involve nude Austrian bodybuilders.
Of course, the whole situation might be moot as radio personality Rush Limbaugh has been quick to point out the it's all just a vast conspiracy dreamt up by the left. Well, this blogger for one is RELIEVED.
What? You don't think that this source is reliable? Well, if you can't trust a thrice divorced college dropout with a history of drug addiction, then who the hell CAN you trust in this world?!
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| scottobear via Compfight cc |
Who indeed.
In gaming headlines, Depression Quest has been greenlit for Steam, following on the shitstorm of misogynistic douchebaggery that is tragically becoming par for the course in the gaming world. At this juncture I'd like to suggest that creator Zoe Quinn's detractors might benefit from the free therapy that this game will undoubtedly provide, but I think we all know that they really just need a good old-fashioned foot up the ass.
Speaking of Steam, without a trace of irony or self-awareness, Kotaku points out the design flaws in Steam's interface. It's a sharply written, to-the-point piece, and it gives a lot of good suggestions without being overly judgemental. So it's really too bad that it's been posted in one of the most horrendous blog-style interfaces to grace the internet.
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| DoctorButtsMD via Compfight cc |
I am well aware of the possible hypocrisy I'm making with this joke. Worth it.
To further the cause of keeping gamers in pitch-dark catacombs, Corsair has unveiled their new MX RGB gaming keyboard which features customizable colour lights for individual hotkeys. This means gamers can customize presets to light up as required for maximum pwnage. As a writer I look forward to the keyboard that highlights each key in the order I should press to construct a complete story.
As we move forward into a bright new year of gaming for 2014, it bears mentioning that one of the most popular games of the year was a simulator for a Soviet Bloc-style immigration checkpoint. I don't know if this is some commentary on our society that this is coming out when it is or that it's achieved the level of recognition it has. I'll just simply mention that it's nearly time for the Olympics in Russia, and art imitates life. Or something like that.
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| IoSonoUnaFotoCamera via Compfight cc |
In Soviet Russia, Papers Please Putin...perpetually?
Finally, the world reacts with a mixture of dismay and confusion as several new trailers for the Robocop remake hit the internet. While I don't believe in the sacred nature of Verhoeven movies (cough cough Showgirls cough), I'm personally disappointed at the complete lack of anybody saying "I'd buy that for a dollar" in any of these trailers. Or maybe they did. I don't speak Chinese.
What they DO have, admittedly, is Samuel L. Jackson saying "WHY. IS AMERICA. SO ROBOPHOBIC?"
So. You know. Can't be all that bad.
What they DO have, admittedly, is Samuel L. Jackson saying "WHY. IS AMERICA. SO ROBOPHOBIC?"
So. You know. Can't be all that bad.
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| GabboT via Compfight cc "I have had it with these motherfuckin' roboph- naw, I gotta be better than that." |