The top story this week: processors across North America are humming at peak efficiency in the cold, deathlike embrace of the polar vortex. Skynet will be happy to know that it has found a far more elegant solution to the ever-present human problem that does not even remotely involve nude Austrian bodybuilders.
Of course, the whole situation might be moot as radio personality Rush Limbaugh has been quick to point out the it's all just a vast conspiracy dreamt up by the left. Well, this blogger for one is RELIEVED.
What? You don't think that this source is reliable? Well, if you can't trust a thrice divorced college dropout with a history of drug addiction, then who the hell CAN you trust in this world?!
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| scottobear via Compfight cc |
Who indeed.
In gaming headlines, Depression Quest has been greenlit for Steam, following on the shitstorm of misogynistic douchebaggery that is tragically becoming par for the course in the gaming world. At this juncture I'd like to suggest that creator Zoe Quinn's detractors might benefit from the free therapy that this game will undoubtedly provide, but I think we all know that they really just need a good old-fashioned foot up the ass.
Speaking of Steam, without a trace of irony or self-awareness, Kotaku points out the design flaws in Steam's interface. It's a sharply written, to-the-point piece, and it gives a lot of good suggestions without being overly judgemental. So it's really too bad that it's been posted in one of the most horrendous blog-style interfaces to grace the internet.
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| DoctorButtsMD via Compfight cc |
I am well aware of the possible hypocrisy I'm making with this joke. Worth it.
To further the cause of keeping gamers in pitch-dark catacombs, Corsair has unveiled their new MX RGB gaming keyboard which features customizable colour lights for individual hotkeys. This means gamers can customize presets to light up as required for maximum pwnage. As a writer I look forward to the keyboard that highlights each key in the order I should press to construct a complete story.
As we move forward into a bright new year of gaming for 2014, it bears mentioning that one of the most popular games of the year was a simulator for a Soviet Bloc-style immigration checkpoint. I don't know if this is some commentary on our society that this is coming out when it is or that it's achieved the level of recognition it has. I'll just simply mention that it's nearly time for the Olympics in Russia, and art imitates life. Or something like that.
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| IoSonoUnaFotoCamera via Compfight cc |
In Soviet Russia, Papers Please Putin...perpetually?
Finally, the world reacts with a mixture of dismay and confusion as several new trailers for the Robocop remake hit the internet. While I don't believe in the sacred nature of Verhoeven movies (cough cough Showgirls cough), I'm personally disappointed at the complete lack of anybody saying "I'd buy that for a dollar" in any of these trailers. Or maybe they did. I don't speak Chinese.
What they DO have, admittedly, is Samuel L. Jackson saying "WHY. IS AMERICA. SO ROBOPHOBIC?"
So. You know. Can't be all that bad.
What they DO have, admittedly, is Samuel L. Jackson saying "WHY. IS AMERICA. SO ROBOPHOBIC?"
So. You know. Can't be all that bad.
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| GabboT via Compfight cc "I have had it with these motherfuckin' roboph- naw, I gotta be better than that." |
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