At the top of our heap of stories, Rob Ford's administration finally passes a budget while simultaneously voting against it in a landmark move being described as "breathtakingly idiotic."  Deflecting attention from Ford's record-breaking attempt at lunacy, ally and goon-at-large Giorgio Mammoliti floats the idea of a boat casino to increase revenue in place of sanity.  Mammoliti eased fears that this was another Simpson's joke waiting to happen by suggesting that if the boat were to fail, it could simply be put out to sea, perhaps to later form its own independent nation-state and rhythm and blues dance troupe.

In the land of provincial politics, the Ontario Liberals are poised to make history by creating gender parity in provincial leadership for the first time in Canada.  Having inherited crippling debt, furious unions and a series of helicopter scandals that make the Seakings look like Concorde Express Jets, this blogger wishes that future premier great luck in her five-second tenure.  She will surely join the ranks of legendary Canadian politicians like Kim Campbell.

The University of Toronto's Sexual Education Centre will be bringing in this year's Sexual Awareness Week with a bang.  When media outlets interviewed outreach co-ordinator Dylan Tower about the possible ramifications of hosting a sex party, Tower explained "Our executive director made it very clear that this is not an orgy..."  Indeed, they prefer the term "lubricant exhibition" or "genitalia parade".  Students have been instructed to keep their kit on until at least 6PM.  They are also reminded to tan, as being white after labour day is strictly faux pas.


In National headlines, British CNN host Piers Morgan invites lunatics on his program and acts surprised when they go batshit insane on live TV.  Seriously.

Finally, on a grim note, ghosts have finally made their presence felt at our precious drivethrus.

This blogger, for one, welcomes our new spectral overlords with open arms and asks only that they not take more ketchup packets than are required.