This Week In Crackton (AKA Toronto)

We kick off this week in international headlines as fresh new Pope Francis rocked the religious world by coming down from his gilded palace on high to inform the unwashed masses that being an atheist is A-OK.  Will this be sufficient cause to slay Godwin's Law once and for all?  It remains to be seen.  What can be safely assumed is that if you are an atheist who does "good", "good" can or must not include:
-  having or providing abortions
-  having premarital sex
-  having protected sex
-  having the gayness

But, you know, other than that, thumbs up!  Swing open those pearly gates and come on in, Atheists of Great Works!

This Week In: The City Built on Rock and Roll

Happy Friday, Toronto!

Before you all flee to cottage country for the long weekend, why not take a moment to educate yourselves on the weekly happenings of the world around you?  And WHAT a week it has been!

Out on the west coast, BC pollsters have successfully collated enough data to prove once and for all that they do not deserve to have jobs.  In light of their shockingly wrong predictions, coupled with similar results in Alberta and Quebec, many are now seeking new employment, perhaps in the "guess your weight" tent at the CNE.  One pollster, seen exiting his office with hang-dog eyes, was heard to mumble "I should really take that internship with Miss Cleo.  She knows what she's doing."

Today, Tomorrow, Yesterday, Three Years Ago

Today is the day before my 27^th birthday, and I am afraid.

The fear in my head is not the kind of dread you feel in the immediate, say, at the sight of something shocking.  It isn't a feel of paranoid unease, either.  Rather, it is a fear brought about by a persistent and unquiet uncertainty, a simmering pot of question stew, bubbling up with chunks of "what if"s  "should I"s .

I have just finished my last day of work at my primary source of income.  If I fail to find work in the next two months, I will be broke.  I will be forced into a situation where I must rely entirely on the charity of others, and while that charity may be willingly given, I feel deeply ashamed at the possibility.  I dread even more that I may be forced away from a place I have come to call  home, and friends that I have made in that place.

To understand this, I have to look back.

Sci-Fi Month REDUX: #1

The Top 10 Best Sci-Fi Movies You've (probably) Never Heard Of

Before we proceed to #1, first, the list until now:

#10:  Renaissance
#9:  Strange Days
#8:  Outland
#7:  A Wind Named Amnesia
#6:  The Quiet Earth
#5:  Sleep Dealer
#4:  The Man From Earth
#3:  Anna to the Infinite Power
#2:  Dark Star

And without further ado, we're on to...

Sci-Fi Month REDUX: #2

The Top 10 Best Sci-Fi Movies You've (probably) Never Heard Of

#2:  Dark Star (1974)

Sci-Fi Month REDUX: #3

The Top 10 Best Sci-Fi Movies You've (probably) Never Heard Of

#3:  Anna to the Infinite Power (1982)

Sci-Fi Month REDUX: #4

The Top 10 Best Sci-Fi Movies You've (probably) Never Heard Of

#4:  The Man From Earth (2007)

Sci-Fi Month REDUX: #5

The Top 10 Best Sci-Fi Movies You've (probably) Never Heard Of

#5:  Sleep Dealer (2008)

Sci-Fi Month: REDUX #6

The Top 10 Best Sci-Fi Movies You've (probably) Never Heard Of

#6:  The Quiet Earth (1985)

Sci-Fi Month: REDUX #7

The Top 10 Best Sci-Fi Movies You've (probably) Never Heard Of

Previous week's entries are here:
#10: Renaissance
#9: Strange Days
#8: Outland

And now we're on to...

#7:  A Wind Named Amnesia (1990)

Sci-Fi Month: REDUX #8

The Top 10 Best Sci-Fi Movies You've (probably) Never Heard Of

#8:  Outland (1981)

What It Is

Sean Connery (OH YEAAAHHH) plays Federal Marshal William O'Neil, a grizzly old veteran who has just transplanted his family from Earth to the rugged frontier of Io, where he joins the security detail of a major mining outpost.  The outpost is managed by Mark Sheppard (Peter Boyle, of Everybody Loves Raymond), a cheery fellow who prides himself on achieving maximum efficiency in the workplace.  Under Sheppard's watch, however, workers begin to exhibit bizarre and increasingly erratic behavior, resulting in several deaths.  O'Neil doggedly investigates, despite growing opposition from his wife and son, and from every single member of the station's 2,144 personnel, with one exception:  the station's chief medical physician, Dr. Lazarus (Frances Sternhagen).

O'Neil gradually uncovers the conspiracy behind the mysterious deaths, leading to a climactic confrontation with three mercenaries who are due to arrive on the weekly shuttle at 1200 hours.  Sound familiar?  No?  What if I were to replace the word "shuttle" with "train" and "1200 hours" with...oh, I don't know, "High Noon?"

OH YEEEEAAAAAHHH

Sci-Fi Month: REDUX #9

The Top 10 Best Sci-Fi Movies You've (probably) Never Heard Of

#9:  Strange Days (1995)

What It Is

The cyberpunk brainchild of two people you might be familiar with - James Cameron and Kathryn before-she-was-big Bigelow - and starring a powerhouse cast that includes Ralph Fiennes, Angela Bassett, Juliette Lewis, Tom Sizemore and Vincent D'Onofrio.  Strange Days depicts a chaotic Los Angeles in 1999, on the eve of the new millennium.  Racial tensions ride at an all time high, distrust of the police is rampant and rioting is a near-daily occurrence.  In the midst of all of this is a new technology, a "SQUID" (Superconducting Quantum Interference Device) that is capable of recording or transmitting data directly to an individual's mind.  SQUID recordings are the newest and greatest thing in black market circles, with content ranging from robberies gone awry to downright snuff films.  One black market dealer, Lenny Nero (Fiennes), stumbles across a SQUID tape that depicts a horrific and politically charged crime, and must rely on the help of his friends Mace (Bassett), a bodyguard for hire, and Max Peltier (Sizemore), a Private Eye, to sort through a labyrinthine plot of double crosses and conspiracies.  Simultaneously, Nero is pursued by two corrupt LAPD officers (D'Onofrio and William Fichtner) and tries desperately to repair his damaged relationship with ex-girlfriend and singer Faith (Lewis).

Sci-Fi Month: REDUX #10

It's back!

This time last year, I decided to declare April my unofficial Sci-Fi month, where I blog about my favourite genre fiction.  Last April, I did up a list of my top 10 shows and top 10 movies, one roughly every weekday.

This year, I'm going to have just the one top 10 list, but it's one that I think will intrigue even die-hard fans.  In terms of a ranking system, these are again just my personal opinions based on how I felt the movie ranked alongside its fellows.  It's also worth mentioning that - with perhaps a couple of exceptions - you would never hear these movies ranked in "Greatest Sci-Fi" lists of any kind; not necessarily because they're BAD, but more because they don't quite reach into the levels of "instant classic".

Without further ado, Look Out It Is a Blog is proud to present:

The Top 10 Best Sci-Fi Movies You've (probably) Never Heard Of

This Week in The Place You Love to Hate (AKA Toronto)

Our top story this week:  this blogger works 18 days straight at a minimum of 8 hours per day for a total of INSANITY.  Padded room at 11.

In actual news, Toronto Councillor Giorgio Mammoliti has revealed evidence of a massive conspiracy against him that includes email hacking and a threatening letter.  Now the envy of paranoid nutters everywhere, Mammoliti goes on to say that he knows the people involved and suspects other councillors of contributing to the campaign of terror.  That's right folks, you heard it here first:  TRUST.  NO.  ONE.

Charming TV show, or DEADLY DOCUMENTARY?
Photo by Alina Sofia licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic

The Fabulous Five: Number Two and Number One!

I was sick yesterday!  I plead the plague!

Here's the intro and #5

Here's #4

And here's #3

Today I wrap up my fabulous five funny ladies of the internet in celebration of International Women's Day!  Without further ado, it's on to #2...

The Fabulous Five: Number Three

Number 4 is here!

Number 5 (and intro) is here!

#3:  Sarah Schneider
It's entirely possible that you've seen Sarah Schneider in several places, but had no idea just who she was.  The name sounds familiar, right?  Here, let's put an office behind her:

The Fabulous Five: Number Four

#5 is here!

#4:  Laina Morris AKA Overly Attached Girlfriend

Bwuh?  Who?

Maybe THIS will jog your memory:

The Fabulous Five: Introduction & Number Five

International Women's Day is this Friday (March 8), and I wanted to take the week leading up to it to talk about the women in the world who give us all the greatest gift possible:  laughter.  INTERNET laughter.

Comedy is not an easy thing to begin with, but putting that comedy out onto the world wide web is akin to putting yourself before a slice of humanity that reeks of troll dung and mothers' basements.  The risks are great, but so are the rewards.

The women on this brief list are just a tiny sampling of an entire world of comedians ready to brave on onslaught of negativity for the moment where they succeed in making someone, somewhere, feel better about life.  Maybe it's just a smile.  Maybe it's a laugh-out-loud.  Maybe, just maybe, they manage to drive home a thought-provoking moment.

I can't speak to their motivations or their aspirations, but I can speak to what they give to me, and to others.  And for that, I think it's high time somebody out there recognized them and gave them their due.

These are my five favourite funny-women of the Internet!

This Week In Pinko Commie Central (AKA Toronto)

This week, we kick off our rundown of stories with former Tory adviser and University of Calgary Professor Tom Flanagan's comments from a seminar at the University of Lethbridge (that's Calgary Junior), regarding child pornography:

“A lot of people on my side of the spectrum, the conservative side of the spectrum, have been on kind of a jihad against pornography and child pornography in particular. And I certainly have no sympathy for child molesters, but I do have some grave doubts about putting people in jail because of their taste in pictures..."

Wait.

Wait, seriously?

He SAID that?

This Week in the Land of Libraries and Tim Horton's (AKA Toronto)

Our top story this week, beloved literary icon Anne of Green Gables has been repackaged as a blonde saucy cowgirl for the latest edition of Lucy Montgomery's public domain novel.  And if you think this is a triviality, a spokesperson for The Anne of Green Gables Licensing Authority Inc has stated that such a radical diversion from the character's origins merits "a full meeting of the (Montgomery/Macdonald) clan".  That's right, Amazon.com.  We're going to go full Highlander on your asses.

Revolving Doors

Click to Enlarge:

This Week in the Land That Time Forgot (AKA Toronto)

This week, Rob Ford triumphantly returns to his gilded hall, having staved off termination at the hands of Paul Magder and Clayton Ruby (more nefarious monikers this blogger has yet to hear).  All is not sunny and rainbows in the realm of Ford, however, as a Forum Research poll released shortly after his press conference demonstrates that in most one-on-one matchups, he ends up the biggest loser.  However, a glut of candidates has and may continue to work in Ford's favor, and Torontonians can and will vote for anything including ghosts, house pets, and garden variety eggplants.

The next mayor of Toronto?
Photo by garlandcannon licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic

This Week in the Centre of the Universe (AKA Toronto)

At the top of our heap of stories, Rob Ford's administration finally passes a budget while simultaneously voting against it in a landmark move being described as "breathtakingly idiotic."  Deflecting attention from Ford's record-breaking attempt at lunacy, ally and goon-at-large Giorgio Mammoliti floats the idea of a boat casino to increase revenue in place of sanity.  Mammoliti eased fears that this was another Simpson's joke waiting to happen by suggesting that if the boat were to fail, it could simply be put out to sea, perhaps to later form its own independent nation-state and rhythm and blues dance troupe.

The martini drinking system for electing government left no survivors.
Photo by Click-mallorca.com licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic